No traditional wedding for me

November 16, 2014

A few months ago I was reading an interesting article about African traditional weddings and this particular line about Ghanaian weddings caught my eye. ’African wedding cultural traditions by country’ on Afrkyaconnect. The line was ‘The traditional ceremony is a necessary common rite of marriage for all Ghanaian couples.‘ This is going to be an issue if I marry a Ghanaian, because I am not having one!

I have always considered myself to be quite traditional, however I think I have been watered down a bit since moving to London. Once upon a time I would have been in on the traditional shebang, but now I don’t want one. The first time I mentioned it to my girlfriends, they thought something had knocked me out. I even surprised myself when it came to mind. My friends said even if I didn’t want one, my Mum would make me have one. Funnily enough, my Mum is in agreement with me. She went to an engagement a few years ago and was overwhelmed by it. She thought it was overdone and lost the beauty of a traditional ceremony. She then said to me that she would be glad if I didn’t want one (she could turn on me when I am ready to get married, but for now we are hoping she is on my side).

I would only consider a traditional if I couldn’t have a white wedding. My future husband would still have to do the traditional knocking, but when he brings the items which have been requested by my family, we are not making a big woo-ha and calling everyone we know, putting up a tent in our backyard, purchasing food and getting an endless supply of Supermalt and Guiness, and getting my potential bridesmaids to wear five different outfits just because that’s what others are doing. We won’t be deciding what colour plastic trays to give guests as gifts, or maybe keyrings with mine and my fiancé’s face plastered over it. Don’t get me wrong, I think traditionals can be beautiful. It is such a beautiful element of of our culture. I love the banter between the two parties during the ceremony, the unforgiving food and beats after the ceremony. However, many have become just tacky.
When my friends have traditionals, I am all over it. I will change into the five outfits if needed be, I will be one of the the decoy brides at the ceremony too. I just think traditionals have been turned into a massively costly circus and I personally don’t roll like that. I feel like the cultural bearing of a traditional ceremony has also become diluted. Back in the day, the traditional was wedding. It was their marriage certificate. Then white weddings occurred and we have made our own definition for a traditional. Culture evolves. I get it. Traditional ceremonies have evolved.  But I will just stick to the white wedding with the church and not necessarily in the church. Could be on the beach! Who knows! It could be anywhere. Most importantly it will save me time, effort and money and I will still come up with the same result! I will be married after!